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Joke of the Day

"Preowned Jaguar for sale. Beloved family member, excellent shape. Wife forced me to put her up for sale after she (the jaguar) ate the kids."

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"What do you call a Woman who can balance 3 pints of Lager on her head? Beatrix"
"It's bad when you accidentally tell a 9 year-old child, ""Stay in drugs, don't do school"" in a serious tone."
"I saw a fight between two Mobius strips It was a little one sided (One of them had a Klein bottle)"
"I have a joke about unemployment It doesn't work though"
"What do you call a trombone player who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless."
"God grant me the dgaf to lol at the things I can't even, the swag to yolo the things I can, and the lifehacks to know the difference"
"Birth control??? Here watch my kids for 10 minutes."
"Every day I swallow a piece of gum in the hopes that one day I will fart a bubble large enough to fly me around the world"
"Q: Who is Scooby-Doo's evil twin? A: Scooby-Don't."