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Joke of the Day

"Preowned Jaguar for sale. Beloved family member, excellent shape. Wife forced me to put her up for sale after she (the jaguar) ate the kids."

"Einstein's mother asks him ""are you happy."" Einstein replies ""relatively."""

"Cleaning out the garage, I found some things I didn't even realize I had. Like a tent, a new printer, and a fourth kid."

"What do you say when an episode of explosive diarrhoea turns into a round of smooth poop? What a wondrous *turd* of events."

"Why couldn't the clock be kept in jail? Because time was always running out."

"Bit creepy of my maths teacher to put a little kiss after each answer."

"Why can't Jamaicans count to 10? Because there's a *tree* in the way!"

"You don't make any sense. I would know because I'm unemployed."

"Signs a Woman Likes You: 1. Eye contact 2. Twirls her hair 3. Laughs at your jokes 4. Follows you 5. Keys your car 6. Kills you"

"What do you call a well rounded, very intelligent gay man? A homogeneous homo genius!"