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Joke of the Day

"Preowned Jaguar for sale. Beloved family member, excellent shape. Wife forced me to put her up for sale after she (the jaguar) ate the kids."

"What do you call a Woman who can balance 3 pints of Lager on her head? Beatrix"

"It's bad when you accidentally tell a 9 year-old child, ""Stay in drugs, don't do school"" in a serious tone."

"I saw a fight between two Mobius strips It was a little one sided (One of them had a Klein bottle)"

"I have a joke about unemployment It doesn't work though"

"What do you call a trombone player who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless."

"God grant me the dgaf to lol at the things I can't even, the swag to yolo the things I can, and the lifehacks to know the difference"

"Birth control??? Here watch my kids for 10 minutes."

"Every day I swallow a piece of gum in the hopes that one day I will fart a bubble large enough to fly me around the world"

"Q: Who is Scooby-Doo's evil twin? A: Scooby-Don't."