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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a trombone player who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless."

"Why did the atheist go to church? To use the Pokestop."

"Whats the difference between a shower thought and a joke? I don't know you tell me."

"Hub: What's this? Me: A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in & I'm a little closer to freedom. Hub: *puts $100 in* Me:..."

"What's the most logical country? AND OR a"

"I hope it's true that girls eventually turn into their mothers, because this girl I just ran over has a mother who's alive."

"I've ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child."

"Sometimes I get scared robots are going to take over. Then I use a motion-controlled sink."

"How are girlfriend like cults? You have to prove your devotion before you're welcomed into the folds."

"Totally thought I was on the phone with my mom for an hour today. Was Daniel Day Lewis the whole time. Damn he's good."