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Joke of the Day

"They say that every 2 out of 3 people live next to a pedophile Not me. I live next to two guys who keep reposting a century-old joke"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number, you probably never heard of it."

"34% stats on reddit are made up. . . Like your love life."

"I don't think 'safe sex' sounds like a very good idea. I mean, what if you get locked in and forget the combination"

"at Nike advertising meeting I need a slogan for these shoes by the end of the day. I don't care how it gets done just do it..hold up a sec"

"Headache A guy asked his wife how she slept and she said 'not well, I was up in the night with a headache'. 'Funny', he said, 'I don't remember waking up and asking you for sex'."

"How much do you weigh after eating Chinese food? Wonton"

"Eggs What does an embryo say when it's serious? No yolk!"

"I want to start a Precedents Day, but it's tough because there's never been one before."

"DirecTV/Spongebob Joke Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know I have DirecTV."