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Joke of the Day

"Premiering 2017. They never saw him coming. Sean Penn is The Retard Pope"

"When I get a dog I'm going to name it fart So I can yell ""COME FART!"" In public"

"Did you hear that Jared Fogle got sentenced to 15 and a half years? But he was happy with it cause it was under 18."

"I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it's health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!"

"What's better than double-fisting a newborn? HADOUKEN!!!"

"What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker? Hop in."

"My co-worker walks by holding asprin in his hand... He says, they say the weakest link in the chain goes first, I guess that's my head."

"Light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for the evening. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Divorce is like hitting the reset button on Super Mario Bros except now you pay for the Princess's castle and hope Bowser kills you."

"If you're not part of the solution, I think... well, technically, that makes you insoluble sediment."