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Joke of the Day
"My buddy told me he wanted to study paleontology... I told him it was a dead-ends job."
Next Joke
"What has tiny balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine you sick fuck"
"""I see an Irish man walking..."" Short I see an Irish man walking with only one shoe on. I tell him ""You're only wearing one shoe, you stupid cunt"". The Irish man replies ""No, I found one."""
"What kind of musical instrument do mice play ? A mouse organ !"
"Hey guys, I have to lettuce you know that I spend half of my celery on vegetables. You carrot stop eating them but that's just my onion."
"What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american community? That's a reservation reservation reservation. (Credit to Brian Regan)"
"How did the woman feel after her legs were amputated? Defeeted"
"Whoever named it a ""mobile"" phone obviously didn't anticipate me spending the day on the couch covered in crumbs reading Twitter."
"Man goes to a burger stand and asks for an Oasis burger The vendor asks what an Oasis burger is. You get a roll with it."
"So that's what ""Tiger blood"" means!"