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Joke of the Day

"Relationship or hallucination... Either way, I'm seeing someone"

"I snatch kisses... ...and vice versa."

"Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket? Professor Yes but I thought it was mine!"

"Hippies. Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'."

"IPhone 7 headphone jack [removed]"

"What is brown, small, and smells of caramel? A diabetic who's been struck by lightning."

"It is known that masturbation eases congestion ""I swear officer, I was only trying to help traffic move along!"""

"I installed anti-virus on my PC Now the damned thing has autism."

"Seafaring language makes me uncomfortable, so no, I would not like a chips ahoy cookie or any other maritime treats, thank you."

"(dark humor) In the used cars for sale add i am selling very little used wife whole or in pieces."