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Joke of the Day
"What is better than a rose on a piano? Tulips on the organ. (I'll show myself out...)"
Next Joke
"How many public school teachers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Whatever it says in the book."
"My asian girlfriend made me mad so I replied in text message with.. -_-"
"Guarantees in life: 1) death 2) taxes 3) me pulling the handle of your car door at the same moment you try to unlock it"
"Halloween = Candy, Thanksgiving = Food, Christmas = Gifts, New Years = Drinks, Valentines = Sex, Birthdays = ALL OF THE ABOVE"
"What is your mom's favorite animal? An armadildo"
"what do you call Coq Au Vin made with Two Buck Chuck? Chick n' Chuck!"
"Why are cowgirls Bowlegged? Because Cowboys eat with their Hats on."
"You know, living away from my parents really makes me realize how much I need a dishwasher that's also a really good chef"
"[1st date] Me: [putting my jacket over my dates shoulders] Her: ""Thank you but I'm not cold"" Me: [covering her awful dress] ""Yes you are"""