226649

Joke of the Day

"If movies have taught me anything, it's that the insurance for fruit vendor carts must be astronomical."

"Raccoons are like hobos, they live outside plus they don't like being shaved while they're eating."

"Whenever I read the phrase ""We've changed our privacy policy,"" I just shrug and assume they already have pictures of me on the toilet."

"What's long hard and shitty at the end? One of John Doe joke."

"Him: Where'd you get that black eye? Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too..."

"Where does a black Jew stand? At the *back* of the gas chamber."

"The most realistic thing about Stranger Things is how much time kids in the 80s spent without parental supervision."

"""BUT WE'RE DATING!"" the blonde screams, ""I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND."" ""You were"" Hefner chuckles. ""Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."""

"War does not determine who is right... ...only who is left."

"What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar."