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Joke of the Day

"I've been sober as far back as I can remember. Which is roughly 11 hours."

"Two guys in CA walked off cliff playing Pokemon. Natural selection accelerated at 9.8 m/sec2."

"What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones? Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? Its cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?"

"Why are you being weird about how we made eye contact and both smiled and then I took the form of an actual bat and chased you for 11 miles"

"How did Hitler tie his shoes? With little knotsies."

"I'm texting random phone numbers with ""I just saw your Facebook Status. LOL""!"

"Why isn't Barney the Dinosaur allowed to drive? Because everybody knows -- tyrannosaurus wrecks."

"I hear mushrooms are good for your social life. They'll make you a really fungi."

"Past, present and future walk into a bar... It was tense"