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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies"

"I don't eat cats and dogs. Dogs are cute and I'm allergic to cats. *my lawyer leans in and whispers in my ear* Cats are also cute."

"I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas. Although what he wants with an ex box I'll never know."

"TIL there are a lot of #1 rules for being a prostitute"

"A feminist asked me how I see lesbians Apparently in ""HD"" wasn't the right answer"

"Why is Apple donating money to cancer research? ""Cancer stole our jobs!"""

"I once knew this vegetable joke ..but then they pulled the plug"

"Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."

"50 cent What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she have him a sweater? Gee you knit"

"Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up? He had a lot of aspirations."