226563

Joke of the Day

"I've been working really hard on controlling my alcoholism I can't remember the last time I blacked out."

"How do you put spaghetti to sleep? You cover it in peanut butter until it dies. My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this."

"I named my hard drive That Thang, so once a month my computer asks me if I want to Back That Thang Up."

"What get's passed around a lot, is soft, barely legal, tender, and really really dirty? A dollar bill."

"What do you call a German Barber? Herr Cut."

"I wonder what song The Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make that cute bikini top"

"Cocaine I tried and failed to use cocaine. It kept falling off the mirror in the bathroom."

"My girlfriend was on her. So I put it in her:"

"When ever a girl wears a shirt saying 'I Woke Up Like This' I resist the urge to say I'm sorry about that."

"My friend told me he had the body of a Greek God... I informed him Buddha was not Greek."