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Joke of the Day

"What did Little Red Riding Hoods boyfriend say when he was asked about their sex life? It's all good in the Hood!"

"I don't hold grudges. My father held grudges, I always hated him for that."

"I can sum up EVERY Presidential debate in 4 words: Same Sh*t, Different A$$holes."

"What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland? Wooden shoe like me to tell you. [Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one]"

"*yells from space* Did you kill that spider?!"

"Why did the Canadian die after eating at an Olive Garden in Texas? He ordered ""eh bowl a"" soup."

"The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!"

"Friend at the pub says: if they ever make a film on Oscar Pistorius, it shouldn't be called 'Bladerunner', it should be called.... Taking the Pisstorius."

"What sound does a Gordonramseysaurus make? ITS RAWR!"

"What's the difference between a normal woman and a witch? The spelling Teehee"