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Joke of the Day

"Wash the alligator clips with rubbing alcohol during flu season Protect yourself from catching a terminal illness."

"Reportedly, Bill Gates filed for trademarks on iCrosoft, iNdows & iHateSteveJobs today. Then, he wiped his ass with a bazillion dollar bill."

"6yo's can't go to jail so I have no idea why this one's refusing to drive me home from the pub."

"Lent is a holiday invented by the banks to sell more loans"

"What do you call it when a gangster accidentally kills a fellow gang member? Homiecide"

"Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout."

"[hospital] ""The results are in. I'm afraid you have Bad Priorities Disease. You have 1 month to live."" But does my hair look good?"

"Someone told me that the best pokemon was the bird that holds a leek stalk I said 'That's a little farfetch'd'"

"I'm thinking about buying a Volkswagen Beetle just so I can be the reason why people keep getting punched."

"LPT: Masturbate before texting your Ex. It'll make you cum to your senses."