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Joke of the Day

"What state did the programmer start her road trip in? Maine"

"Depressed? Just imagine Ozzy Osbourne struggling to pour a giant jar of change into a Coinstar."

"Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ? Man: It did for a while - then it fell off."

"Why are homosexuals so well dressed? Because they didn't just spend all that time in the closet doing nothing..."

"Why did the writer not like his friends book? It wasn't his type."

"Anybody want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's cheesy."

"What instrument does God play? He plays the cello. As it says in scripture: ""Our God is a cellist God."""

"Why was the piano teacher arrested? He kept fingering A minor."

"I did so much yard work today, I might get deported."

"Trains do a pretty good job of letting you know they're still 7 miles away."