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Joke of the Day

"During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old ""why did you even marry me?"" line. Apparently ""Your sister was already taken"" was not the right answer."

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"[Sahara desert] Me: *shares canteen* Companion: *holds it to his mouth but nothing comes out* Me: it's ketchup, you have to wait a bit."
"Life handed me lemonade, but I was too busy around the corner captivated by how fudge is made."
"What do blind people think of a basketball? It's a never ending story."
"He told her that trees blossom in her presence. What he meant was that she scares the sap back up into them."
"I'd rather my son bring home a pregnant girl than head lice"
"Noticed lots of older people reading the bible. It's like they are cramming for their final exam."
"It's hard explaining puns to kleptomaniacs... ...because they always take things literally."
"""So where are you from?"" - I'm a Liberian ""Oh sorry *whispers* where are you from?"""
"How would you describe frankenstein's birth? Shocking!"