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Joke of the Day

"[Sahara desert] Me: *shares canteen* Companion: *holds it to his mouth but nothing comes out* Me: it's ketchup, you have to wait a bit."

"what did they start calling the timelord after he started frequenting one too many prostitutes? doctor whore"

"""Dad, why did your generation find a fat guy singing in Korean & pretending to ride a horse entertaining?"" ""I don't know son, I don't know."""

"Why did the scarecrow get the Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field."

"Q: What does a horny toad say? A: Rubbit"

"Say ""Oh my God"" 5x fast, then say ""I got 'em"" 5x fast.. Have you found Jesus? Lol, jk.. But they sound pretty similar, don't they?"

"This Is A Dirty Joke A white horse fell in the mud"

"Did you know i DJ? Yeah, but I only do it every unce in a while."

"I'm going to name my penis Hitler... ...because with one stroke it ends millions of lives in the shower."

"I saved a ton of money on car insurance by switching to reverse and leaving the scene."