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Joke of the Day

"Don't waste your time going to the library looking for books on suicide..... no one ever brings them back."

"So I was really excited for the new Arcade Fire album... But then I remembered, it's just a Reflektor."

"What's the difference between a cow who makes regular milk and a cow who makes chocolate milk? A mootation"

"2 hr flight, better buy 8 lbs of fruit and nut mix."

"Did you hear about the black boy with with diarrhea? Everyone thought he was melting."

"What's the difference between a job and a wife? After 10 years, a job still sucks!"

"A car goes to the grocery store... For the first time, who didn't see one's part because it was the only one left"

"[tv ad] Hey folks, this is Don Key! Come on down to Key's Automotive for.. uh- [camera still rolling] holy shit .. donkey. my name is donkey"

"Guys: What should you do if you drop your wallet in San Francisco? Kick that shit to Oakland!!"

"Hickory hickory dock. The mouse ran up the clock The clock struck one But the rest got away with minor injuries"