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Joke of the Day

"Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"

"I just got this twitter error: ""The server understood your request but is refusing to fill it."" Apparently, twitter thinks we're married."

"There were two old men... That were sitting on their porch, when a dog comes up and starts licking his dick. One old man said, ""I wish I could do that "" Then the other said, ""that dog would bite you."""

"Dirty limerick... There was a girl from Peru Grammar to her was new She asked after the deed With her mouth full of seed Did I just blow or blew?"

"Sometimes I see a post and think "" good.. its your own fault"""

"I gave up viagra It was hard at first..."

"Me and my brother buried the hatchet last night! We dumped the hooker in the lake though."

"It did feel good. I used the craziest toilet this morning. It was one of those toilets that shoots water up your butt I forget the name. Bidet, it felt amazing."

"Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic? ...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin."

"What does the sun skate on? Solarblades"