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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a public park and a public toilet? I need to know before my court date on Monday."

"We should all be as confident as those tiny, always-shaking dogs that aren't afraid to bark at things 50 times their size."

"I was going to make a joke about the midwest... ...but it was too corny"

"The bravest thing you can do is change & the weakest is to settle for comfort. But, seriously, that remote is really far from the couch."

"My hope for you is that you someday find the end of your sentence"

"Girl, you're like a supermassive black hole... ...because you're incredibly dense, nothing is more attactive than you, and once you suck me in there's no going back."

"I used to be addicted to soap But I'm clean now."

"I went SCUBA-diving and my equipment malfunctioned. I was so mad... ... it literally made my blood boil."

"Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish... ... but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast."

"Why do white girl groups only walk together in odd numbers? Because they can't even"