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Joke of the Day

"I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping."

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"I never thought they would make another Jurassic Park... ...But sequels, uh, find a way."
"Why did the dad say the joke instead of act it out? Because it was cheesier said than done."
"Every joke about reddits mods [removed]"
"Every single person my age... ...is 43."
"So I shot an elephant in my pajamas.. How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know."
"NyQuil before beer, nothing to fear. Beer before Nyquil, never been a 30-foot panda on the French Riviera selling kites to angry trees."
"I see your thesaurus joke and raise you mine. Did you here about the truck full of thesauruses that crashed? Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted, and taken aback."
"Eating a solid brick of Ramen is probably the easiest way to remember I need to pay the water bill."
"I dated an hermaphrodite... It was an ""hermaphrodate"""