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Joke of the Day

"NSFW - What do arrogant pricks and tampons have in common? ... They are both stuck up cunts."

"MAMA Be quiet Freddie JUST KILLED A MAN As your lawyer I- PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD Just- PULLED THE TRIGGER- We plead guilty, Your Honor"

"""Honey, can you bring me a roll of toilet paper?"" Toilet paper- ""I have a boyfriend"""

"Coworker: people around the office think you're too controlling Me: what's that? Coworker: oh, sorry *raises hand*"

"I'm Not Fucking Stupid .... ... I mean I used to, but we broke up."

"In the Phoenix airport & I just heard a guys laptop say ""you've got mail"". Pretty sure I've landed in 1998."

"If there's another explanation for my gray hairs other than I'm turning into a polar bear, I don't want to hear it. Don't ruin this for me."

"Why are all black people fast? Because the slow ones are in jail."

"The movie Interstellar was so deep that.. Adele was rolling in it"

"France and Italy simultaneously declare war on each other France surrenders Italy changes sides Both lose"