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Joke of the Day

"What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster? You pop up all night."

"I asked my girlfriend at dinner, ""Why are you being so salty?"" Her response - with a flat, even look: ""I've been well seasoned."" I lost it"

"What is a bigot? A bigot is anyone winning an argument with a liberal."

"if you've ever wondered what it'd be like to be married ... Find a woman who doesn't want to have sex with you, and buy her a house."

"Boy: Calls 911 Boy: calls 911 Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"What's the difference between a peeping Tom and a pickpocket? A peeping Tom snatches watch's"

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump Are Sinking On A Cruise Ship, Who Survives? America"

"The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down & you don't know whether to tell, because you can't explain why you were looking that low."

"Why can't we edit tweets? Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say ""RT if you hate puppies and babies."""

"Bathrooms have Changed from being a Singing Studio, to a Photo Studio."