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Joke of the Day

"Obama: ""Anybody else wanna see my birth certificate?"" Drops mic, walks away."

"I'm not lazy... I'm just on my energy saving mode."

"What is a ghost's favorite part of school? Spirit week."

"I hope Kim and Kanye surprise everyone and name this next kid something like Bill or Jen"

"As a literalist, I can't watch porno... There's too many holes in the plot. I thought of this while reading a reddit comment section, so thank you reddit :)"

"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks... Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined."

"I tried, I really did. I threw my hands up in the air and waved them like I just don't care. Then I realized I do care. Damnit, I do care."

"Caught out in the wilderness without any toilet paper? Just take a leaf out of Bear Gryll's book... Edit: Spelling"

"My New Year's resolution for 2017 was to lose 10 pounds. Only 12 more to go."

"I like the way baseball players pick up each other's bats after they cross home plate. More sports courtesy, please."