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Joke of the Day

"if you've ever wondered what it'd be like to be married ... Find a woman who doesn't want to have sex with you, and buy her a house."

"The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass."

"I was just unfollowed by a guy with 10,349 tweets & 38 followers...I'm thinking that's the same guy at the park that talks to all the pigeons"

"Which One Comes First I just Ordered A Chicken and an Egg off the internet, to see which one comes first........ I'll keep you posted."

"MOVE CHEESE!! Get out of the whey!! Credit to some youtuber."

"What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!"

"Q: What did the writing utensil take for his high sugar level? A: Pencil-in."

"I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved."

"What part of a football pitch smells nicest ? The scenter spot !"

"Seen on a prison wall: ""VIRGINITY who says you can only lose it once?"""