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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the hipster with heatstroke? He got it before it was cool."

"You would think that if you pulled a snail's shell off, then it would be able to move faster. I tried it, but they seem to be more sluggish."

"Did you hear the one about the Jewish carpenter? I heard he nailed it!"

"Auto correct tries to change the word ""pussies"" to ""Aussies"".... Just saying."

"What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount rushmore"

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have Ethiopians."

"I am friends with 25 letters from the alphabet I don't know y EDIT: Credits to Chris Turner."

"What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!"

"You did not have a valentine on valentines day? Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day so shut up."

"Honestly Officer, the pharmacy ran out of those orange pill bottles so they just gave it to me in this plastic baggie."