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Joke of the Day

"Why do tennis players never get married? Because Love means nothing to them."

"I dont't want to die a virgin because that means I'll have to have sex with terrorists."

"I think I'll vote the NSA for president... ...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election."

"You know the best part about dating a homeless chick? You can drop her off wherever."

"I have a Step-Ladder... I never knew my real ladder tho. :\"

"My next door neighbour just accused me of stealing clothes from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants"

"What does a flaky boyfriend and constipation have in common? They're both assholes who can't commit."

"Yo. Real shit. Just bcause you went and got your logo printed on some t-shirts, that does NOT mean you have a clothing company. U got shirts"

"You drop ONE baby and everyone's all like, ""Quit juggling babies Steve. You're the worst babysitter ever!"""

"Lou Gehrig... ... died from Lou Gehrig's disease. What are the chances of that?"