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Joke of the Day

"Lou Gehrig... ... died from Lou Gehrig's disease. What are the chances of that?"

"Constipation Have you heard of the movie constipation? Probably not. It hasn't come out yet."

"What goes 99-clonk 99-clonk 99-clonk ? A centipede with a wooden leg !"

"Why can't you ever trust an atom? Because, they make up everything..."

"Teacher: Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich? Me: Because the poor didn't have any fucking money."

"Who should we vote for the next president? Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3."

"On the bright side, this is gonna be the most environmentally friendly olympics... On the bright side, this is gonna be the most environmentally friendly olympics, even the pools are going green."

"eer booze and fun!' 'I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me."

"Get really close to a dog. Look them in the eyes. Hiss ""who do you think you are?"" as you pet them"

"When I was at school, the school bully used to make me rub my head against a giant piece of sandpaper. I was no match for him."