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Joke of the Day

"A man and a boy went into the woods at night... ... the boy says to the man, ""it's scary out here."" The man then replied, ""You think you're scared, I gotta walk out of here alone!"""

"I rang my boss and asked him ""what is the difference between work and your daugter?"" ""I won't be coming into work today!"""

"Helium walks into a bar, the bartender says ""we don't serve noble gasses here""... helium doesn't react."

"What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water? Pollution What do you call it when you throw all the black people in the water? Solution."

"When I get mad I count down from ten out loud. I was arrested, the cops thought I was a bomb"

"gardens are insane. ""Oh that's just my box of dirt that pushes food at me very slowly."""

"Why did the banker leave his job? he lost interest"

"DUMBLEDORE: Who's brought evil into Hogwarts? HARRY: I think it's Malfoy, professor! DARK MYSTERIOUS NEW TEACHER: Oh come on"

"It is rude to Digg an article without first checking for gass, waterr or other utilityy lines."

"How many terribly overused Vine memes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ***19, you dumbass. Its 19. not twenty-fucking-one.***"