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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a farting Russian? Vladimir Putin ~ You can thank my 65 year old grandfather for this"

"I treat women well cause I'm a real man. Also, if I'm nice to them maybe they'll come over and kill this spider for me"

"Who lives in a hut with a couple pieces of trash and two grains of rice? An Ethiopian person who has been hoarding for several years now."

"I used to listen to old Mitch Hedberg recordings.. I still do, I just used to too."

"Give a man a fish, where's he supposed to put it? Get away from him you weirdo."

"What is a baby's favorite Fall Out Boy song? Thanks For The Mammaries"

"How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how clumsy you are. *There, I've killed it. Move on /r/jokes, move on.*"

"What do you call a midget physic that escaped from jail? A small medium at large."

"Made reservations. For the grinandbearit."

"What's the cheapest present for an ophan? A tattoo with dad"