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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a farting Russian? Vladimir Putin ~ You can thank my 65 year old grandfather for this"

"Why does Reddit have so many reposts? Because you already read-it."

"COP: Can you describe your attacker? ME: No COP: Didn't you see him? ME: Yes, but I have a poor grasp of adjectives"

"There's a black man in my family tree... He's been hanging there for a while now."

"My son is fashion conscious and likes Disney show tunes. I think we need to have THE TALK. No son of mine is gonna raid my lingerie closet."

"HR: You can't urinate outside. Me: Then how will we keep the jellyfish away? HR: Can you take a drug test? Me: Nope, I'm all out of urine"

"I ordered a red ottoman online yesterday and now all my self-aware sidebar ads are a never-ending David Lynch fever dream of red ottomans."

"Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld? Because Demeter stopped working."

"what did the cannibal get when he showed up late to a dinner party A cold shoulder"

"Q. What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase? A. ""It's okay Daddy I'm not hurt."""