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Joke of the Day

"Kids are the worst CIA agents. I KNOW WATERBOARDING SUCKS KATIE BUT YOU CAN'T TELL THE TALIBAN EVERYTHING FOR A CAPRI SUN YOU IDIOT"

"How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day? F5."

"MAYBE PEACH JUST LIKES BOWSER A LOT AND WE'RE FOLLOWING A NARRATIVE OF MARIO THE DELUSIONAL HOMEWRECKER. *cops pull me from operating room*"

"You say potato, I say get the hell out of my bathroom"

"What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist bastard."

"I don't need a stable relationship, I just need a stable internet connection."

"A serial killer leaves his mark on his victims by cutting off their left hand and right leg. Authorities say something sinister is afoot."

"What's the difference between a pirate and a necrophiliac? I'm not sure, but they both go out with shovels to find the booty."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An unoriginal joke"

"After a lot of deliberation I've decided communism isn't right... It's left"