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Joke of the Day

"Kids are the worst CIA agents. I KNOW WATERBOARDING SUCKS KATIE BUT YOU CAN'T TELL THE TALIBAN EVERYTHING FOR A CAPRI SUN YOU IDIOT"

"What noise does a ceiling fan make? GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!"

"What does Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common? They are both made of plastic and get turned on by children!"

"What do you call a ghost that lives in your butt? An ass-soul"

"New Internet acronym: RALSHMICOMN Rolling Around Laughing So Hard Milk Is Coming Out My Nose"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 did 9/11"

"In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters."

"Don't smoke kids... Because smoking kids is illegal."

"i'm the kind of person who would pretend i don't know your name but actually know what you been up to for the past 5 years per facebook."

"Why was the leper hockey game canceled? There was a face-off in the corner."