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Joke of the Day

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty sleeping bags."

"What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Isaac Newton died a virgin."

"Want to hear a gay joke? Nevermind... it's kinda gay"

"My Wife's Accident The police knocked on my door last night, ""It looks like your wife has been in an accident,"" said one officer. ""I know,"" I replied, ""but she's good with the kids."""

"Why do the Lannisters have such big beds? Because they like to push two twins together to make a king. (Game of Thrones ref)"

"Just spent 5 minutes waving my hands in front of a manual paper towel dispenser if anyone needs someone to take their SAT exam for them."

"yo momma so fat when her name was the answer to a crossword clue, it was 10 spaces down and 10000 spaces WIDE!"

"I'm writing a book about a child who suffers from SIDS But considering turning it into a short story"

"My penis is like the U.S. presidency Long and white, with a little bit of black on the tip."

"Teacher: ""What is the most common phrase used in school?"" Pupil: ""I don't know..."" Teacher: ""Correct!"""