22569

Joke of the Day

"If your bathroom mirror doesn't look like a Jackson Pollock painting, you're not flossing right."

"I've found that I can usually judge how hot a woman is by how many times my girlfriend calls her a whore."

"Someone is selling a rot iron table on Craigslist ..wonder If they would trade for a dictionary"

"What does deaf, mute and blind person get for christmas? Cancer"

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind doing a 5k but my running group wants to do a 10k and i really don't like them :-D"

"An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough"

"Father: Son, it's time we talked about sex. Son: Sure, Dad, what do you want to know?"

"what's the difference between a cat and compound sentence? one has claws at the end of it's paws...the other has a pause at the end of it's clause."

"Me: What kind of Dr. treats men who won't talk on the phone? GF: What? M: A Guy-no-call-ogist. GF: I'm killing u in ur sleep tonight."

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."" ""Oh my god honey, what happened?"" ""I reposted the same goddamn joke too many times."""