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Joke of the Day
"What's long, green, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's fingers..."
Next Joke
"What would be a more appropriate name for spiderman? Peter parkour."
"I suppose I should be thankful that I'm a single adult. Life would be much more complicated if I were multiple adults."
"You need glasses when you do maths Because it helps with division. -Barbara from Rooster Teeth"
"In hindsight, i shouldn't have said 'surprise me' when the judge was about to sentence me"
"Three goats walked into a Stop N Shop."
"Why did email come easy to the lumberjack? He was already very familiar with loggin' :D"
"As technology gets lighter, thinner, and faster... People get heavier, thicker, and slower."
"Don't be sad when your exes unfollow you. It just means they'll spend more time manually checking your updates"
"Van Halen on tour in 2012! I doubt the Mayans realized they'd be up against ""Drop Dead Legs"" when they predicted the end of the world."