126042

Joke of the Day

"Everyone says they are sick of my Linkin Park references... But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"You laugh at the burrito in my purse, until you get hungry."

"[pet store] COP: someone's been stealing puppies OWNER: OMG now I'm missing another one ME: who would do such a thing *shirt starts barking*"

"I'd hate to be stuck behind Satan in the post office... ...for the accursed one takes many forms."

"All the world's a stage And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time has many farts."

"Why did the premature ejaculator cross the ro... never mind."

"How come if you eat two cookies you gain 3 lbs. Then when you take a major dump, you don't lose anything?"

"What is the definition of ""indefinitely""? When your balls slap your girlfriend's ass, you know you're in definitely."

"99.9% of people are idiots Fortunately, I belong in the 1% of intelligent people"

"How many anesthesiologists does it... take... to... ... change... ... a... ... ... ... ..."