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Joke of the Day

"Q: What kind of snake is good at building things? A: A boa constructor."

"Today some boiled water died.. It shall be mist"

"What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog."

"Carrot Top's hair should be green. Either that, or I don't understand the anatomy of a carrot as fully as I think I do."

"I'm the kind of guy who brings his phone charger to the party."

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping cart? Take the ""S"" out of safe and the ""F"" out of way!"

"Girls are like internet domain names All the good ones are taken, so all we are left with are the strange foreign ones that nobody wants."

"Me: Excited for the dance? 13yo: No, because you and mom will be there. Me: But I've been workin on my twerkin! 13yo: I need new parents."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rooster? The rooster clucks defiance. ^Let ^it ^sink ^in."

"PC is getting way out of hand. You can't even say black paint anymore. Instead it's gotta be ""Jamal, please paint."""