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Joke of the Day
"Did you get that joke about the Titanic? It took a while to sink in."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? Mostly the taste."
"I'm like the lemon seed that sinks to the bottom of your water glass and then shoots up your straw unexpectedly, trying to choke you."
"If a flea and a fly pass each other what time is it? Fly past flea."
"Some random guy on the street turned me into a bottle of tequila which rather annoyed me. I hate when people Patronize me"
"I wish all tests were things you peed on"
"What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud"
"[my cell phone rings] ME (a person who pays a monthly fee to allow this): Ugh why is this happening"
"I bet you're the asshole that says ""we"" when talking about your favorite sports team like you're on the actual roster."
"Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan."