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Joke of the Day
"How do you know your wife's dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up."
Next Joke
"Have you never heard of the boy that cried wolf??? The girl that coughed bees? The boy that sneezed sharks? The girl that shit spiders?"
"I was in a cafe the other day when I overheard this: ""Can you please stop listening to our conversation?"""
"Working on my resume. How do I spin ""total mess"" into a marketable skill?"
"What does a gang say on December 25th? Merry Crips-mas"
"[awful tragedy happens] me (rolling up sleeves): time to be an idiot online"
"What's the difference between OP and a brick? A brick gets laid!"
"If you're in a plane above LA... What happens if you are in a plane above Los Angeles, and when you look out the window there are no clouds beneath you? U C L A"
"What's the worst thing about challenging an unjust law? Failing to get away."
"Somebody spotted a coyote in my neighborhood a few days ago. But it's cool, cause I just started carrying an anvil around everywhere I go."