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Joke of the Day
"What is a Barefooted Locksmith's favorite drink? Sake. (sock-key)"
Next Joke
"What's the best iPhone app for telling a kid he's adopted?"
"Why do white girls walk in groups of odd numbers? Because they literally can't even."
"[first date] me: [don't let her know you're a microwave] her: my food is a bit cold me: [my head starts slowly rotating]"
"Woman across from me will NOT shut up about her where she works. Ugh, I hate job interviews."
"My life The biggest joke of all."
"My guardian angel deserves a raise"
"Women are like ice cream.. They're cold at first, if you keep them warm they melt, then they get fucking sticky."
"[Interview] Why do you want this job? Me: *opens briefcase* I don't. *pulls out Snickers* I just wanted to eat this without my kids around"
"What do you call a lesbian ice cream sandwich? A Klondyke bar."