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Joke of the Day

"DENTIST: let's get started, shall we? *places drill on tray* ME: um D: *places giant needle on tray* ME: uhhhhh D: *places handgun on tray*"

"My daughter asks for Frozen stuff for Christmas, so i bought her frozen chips and a packet of peas"

"Women's magazine Page 14: accept yourself as you are Page 15: how to lose 5 Kg in 2 weeks Page 16: best cake recipes ever.."

"What do you call two gay Irish men? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick"

"Lifetime TV. For women whose own lives aren't depressing enough."

"Saturday night, time to get crazy! *shuffles Uno cards*"

"If apples grow on an apple tree, where do chickens grow? A poultry"

"What sex position makes ugly babies? Ask your parents"

"I noticed that he called her 'donkey' all night, I asked why and she said....... HEEE-AWWW, HEE-AWWW, HEEEE-AAAALWAYS CALLS ME THAT!"

"Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?"