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Joke of the Day

"They say everything is bigger in Texas, but their buses are usually shorter."

"I don't volunteer my time to worthy causes but I do always whisper ""you're doing great"" when a waiter is describing the specials to me"

"Whats the difference between a Pizza and Jew? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven"

"I have a deeply religious Muslim friend who knows the Qu'ran back to front Which is the way that the Koran is written. A surprisingly well informed joke about Islam (with apologies to Jimmy Carr)."

"I swear...I think restaurants with drive thru's identify the dumbest employee and say ""here, you get to wear the headset"""

"There are few moments sadder than when they ask at the fast food drive-thru if you want to try the new featured item and you do."

"I'm honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama."

"To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today."

"What do Polar Bears eat for lunch? Ice Bergers."

"women love to see the veins in a man's arm. it shows he runs on blood, and not something more sinister"