75879

Joke of the Day

"Hey Billy Joel it's called a pianist."

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"Nice try Jehovah's Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to come to my door."

"Q: What is a sea monster's favorite dish? A: Fish and ships."

"How does a guy with five dicks wear his pants? Like a glove"

"What does a carpenter do after one night stand? A matching one for the other side of the bed."

"I love my girlfriend's dog, ""Missy."" She messes inside a lot though, especially if I show too much attention to the dog."

"My doctor said I had an iron deficiency and I asked him how he could tell. He pointed at my crinkled shirt."

"There was a half black, half Asian kid in my school. What did some kids call him? A ""Chigga"" (i'm not a racist, but this made me laugh for long enough to post it here. Please don't get triggered)"

"Why did the tomato blush red? Because it saw salad dressing! :D Just like I saw your mom dressing Cause she's a skank Come at me, Reddit. Come at me"