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Joke of the Day

"He died doing what he loved -- screaming for help and punching a bear."

"we lost our power ""why?"" a transformer blew up by our house *eyes widen* ""that's awes-"" it's not as cool as it sounds"

"I'm way more unique than everyone else who likes the same esoteric bullshit as me."

"I had a window smash and impale me in the buttocks today... It was a pane in the ass."

"When my dad caught me smoking a cigarette he took me out to the shed and forced me to teach him how to be hella cool."

"If I had a nickel for every time my pants have fallen down from carrying around too many nickles."

"Donald Trump will run for President ... When the Cubs win World Series."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Teenage Pregnancy Barbie ...complete with dropout forms. Angry parents and deadbeat boyfriend sold separately"

"Why was the hot teacher promoted to principal? Because she was the Headmaster! My first submitted joke :)"

"After a night out with friends a man comes stumbling home late He's greeted by his wife looking stern with her arms crossed. She exclaims ""Drunk again!"" He replies ""Me too!"""