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Joke of the Day

"Boss: How is the project coming along? Me:*closing browser of sick kick flip videos* Totally rad...icalizing our sales data analysis, Sir."

"Humans: we're not like snakes Also Humans: mmmm eggs"

"Loan me a couple bucks? ""Sure"" *throws 2 huge deer carcasses on counter* Dude where did u get those? ""..."" Can I even pay with these?"

"I'll never be friends with the girl who brings a bottle of sparkling water to the gym."

"What is the best way to hunt bear ? With your clothes off."

"What did the demonic junkie get charged with? Two counts of possession"

"How can you tell a rich Swiss from a poor Swiss? The poor swiss washes his Mercedes by himself"

"Italy changes law to make all markets give unsold food to super needy keep it going"

"I tried to open a store that specialized in leather made from cow nipples... It was an udder catastrophe"

"Isn't it so awkward when you misplace a Rolex? It's like, do I want to tell people that there's a free Rolex on the loose? Relatable, right?"