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Joke of the Day

"Just came to the realization that my ten year high school reunion will be in 10 months. I have about nine days to get married and pregnant."

"Where did the cow go? It mooved."

"""Pay attention to me, but not too much. Ignore me, but make me feel wanted. Let me know you want me, but don't be clingy.""-women"

"I've developed a phobia of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them."

"It was a good decision to remove all the mirrors from my car I haven't looked back since."

"What does a jewish pedophile say to a kid Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?"

"Give someone fire and they'll be warm for a day. Throw someone into fire and they'll be warm for the reat of their life."

"Difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer in the road? The dog had skid marks in front of it."

"Why do melons insist on having big weddings? Because they just cantaloupe."

"Year: 2020 Cause of death: iPhone 10 Plus fell on his head."