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Joke of the Day

"Pregnancy is like politics you vomit a lot and at the end you get something you don't want."

"""How did your grammar competition go?"" I losed"

"Show up late for a meeting and say, ""Sorry, I have the WORST hangover."" Then, whip out a copy of ""The Hangover Part 2"" and laugh and laugh."

"You can insult anyone you want, as long as you end the sentence with ""but in a good way""."

"Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong."

"Jeff: i'm pro gun. Me: i'm anti gun. Greg: i'm vegan. Me: i'm pro gun, now. Jeff, give me your gun."

"Whats the great way to lose some pounds? Leave the EU."

"Shredded cheese has officially been banned in grocery stores in the US. Trump will make America grate again."

"What do you call children who are born into a Whorehouse? Brothel Sprouts."

"What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill? ""Ouch! I Hermione!"""