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Joke of the Day

"Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong."

"What Time Do You Go To The Dentist? Tooth - Hurty! XD"

"Why does not a forth-grader ever take the bus home? Because he knew his parents will make him return it."

"Why are Sharks the only species that get their own week? I'd totally watch hermit crab week if they had one."

"I didn't get the joke about the hot air balloon. I think it was over my head."

"What do you call a german that does the exact opposite of what he says to do? A hypokrout."

"What's the difference between a black person and Christmas lights? Nothing. They both look good hanging from trees."

"""I found some shit in your room...No, I found actual shit. Feces...Well I should hope it's from your shoes, otherwise what the fuck?"""

"When I was a kid, we were so poor... If I didn't wake up with a boner on Christmas, I wouldn't have anything to play with."

"I had falafel for lunch... Now I feel awful."