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Joke of the Day

"After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan's threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm."

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"I bet Matt McConaughey isnt aware he's in movies. His agent drops him off & hes like ""Ha-Allright..this is my life now? Cool camera broski!"""
"What do you call a girl that raps about women rights? Feminem."
"25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. That's scary... It means 75% are running around untreated."
"I like my coffee like my women... Black and bitter, preferably fairtrade"
"[red carpet] ""So Ryan, who are u with tonight?"" Ryan Gosling [proudly] ""My parents"" [two geese in black tie nervously shuffle to his side]"
"Can't believe I was once a child who fought taking naps."
"I swear to god, people these days have no morals whatsoever I was at church today and some scumbag lit a cigarette with an alter candle, I was so shocked I almost dropped my beer"
"As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!"
"What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games? An ex-boxer."