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Joke of the Day

"What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks? Beep Beep Beep..."

"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."

"When I had no money, I had few friends, but no enemies Btw, I still have no money, in case you were thinking of becoming my friend or enemy"

"My doctor prescribed me Adderall to help my concentration and frustration. The only problem is that... now I'm super concentrated on my frustrations."

"[wife calls] did you write ""make all the traps from home alone"" on the calendar [me at hardware store holding paint cans and feathers] ""no"""

"What happens when two oxen bump into each other? You have an oxident."

"No one your age has any idea what they're doing either. No matter what age you are."

"Did you hear about the Knock-knock joke champion? He won the no bell prize."

"How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3/5"

"I was never great with girls but I have standards... I don't date ugly girls... I make them fucking ugly..."