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Joke of the Day

"Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that..."

"A nationwide recall of the popular children's cereal Trix was issued today ""Just dump them out in your garden"" said one long-eared FDA agent"

"I hope Donald Trump becomes president. That way we can impeach him and all of USA can tell him ""you're fired""."

"Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way."

"What's the only thing that could have saved George Michael? A whambulance"

"Have you heard of that movie, ""Constipation""? It's not out yet."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an Oscar? He was out standing in his field."

"I didn't send Christmas cards this year, what with the economy and all. Mostly I'm just lazy, but blaming the economy is so much more fun."

"If I had known ""cuties"" were little oranges when my wife asked me to ""bring a few home,"" I could have avoided these awkward introductions."

"An abacus isn't exciting, but it's reliable. You can always count on one."