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Joke of the Day

"Why did the aardvark cross the road? To beat up the idiot telling jokes about him. (Not an original joke)"

"What kind of shark is always drunk? A hammeredhead"

"Dammit, stop summoning me to fight global warming! I'll believe it when the remaining 3% of scientists believe it! -Republican Capt. Planet"

"I just found out they made a heart-shaped dairy-lovers pizza Too cheesy for me though"

"What do you call an angle that is cute ? Acute angle."

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?"

"A new band called 1025 MB is playing soon They just barely got a gig"

"Women dressed head to toe in animal print just bumped into me, thought I was being attacked my an obese leopard."

"He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know. Shut up, is basically what I'm saying."

"Open bottle, allow it to breathe. If it does not look like it's breathing, give it mouth to mouth -Beer"